03 Mar 09 Promise Me Something
- Image by paul+photos=moody via Flickr
I know you’re hurting.
When I was unemployed and underemployed in 2003-2004, those were very dark times for me. The stress of not being able to provide for my family overwhelmed me to the point where I became seriously depressed. Seriously depressed. The pain I felt was nearly unbearable. I found a psychiatrist and therapist and took some medicine and talked with other people. I was involved in a church community.
Depression clouds everything
Still, there were times I thought about ending it all. Yes, there were rare times of what they call “suicidal ideation“. I was open about those thoughts and feelings. I made myself accountable to others who would ask me:
- “Are you taking your medicine?”
- “Are you going to your appointments?”
- “How are you really doing today?”
Depression clouds everything, especially in a job search. When you’re depressed you don’t feel like you have anything to offer anyone. Maybe this hits us guys more than the ladies because we get so much of our identity from what we do for a living. When that is taken away from us, we feel like part of our soul has been ripped out.
There are days you don’t even want to wake up. You want the pain to go away.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Stay in the battle
Promise me something. No matter how bad it gets – don’t give up. Stay in the battle. Look at yourself in the mirror – no, STARE DOWN the person in the mirror – and repeat these two statements of fact:
- You are better than you think you are.
- You can do more than you think you can.
The biggest reason I created the How I Got My Job project is for times like this. Surround yourself with success. Just hearing that someone else got a job can give you hope. Listen to these stories over and over again. Let them sink into your consciousness as you begin to believe in yourself again.
Read this excellent article from Christopher S. Penn about How Your iPod Can Protect Your Mind.
Get help
Finally, get help. No man is an island. We were made to be social creatures, and we need to get and stay connected with others. We live in an age now where connecting online is so easy. Even more importantly, though, get connected to people in-person. You need to find people to meet up and network with. Find people who will inspire and encourage you, people who are not afraid to tell it like it is. Heck, feel free to get in touch with me. I try to make myself as approachable as possible. Get some therapy if needed.
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Tags: Depression, job hunt, job search
[...] @danieljohnsonjr: (via Get That Job!) Promise Me Something: http://getthatjobonline.com/2009/03/03/promise-me-something/ « el?z? | Norbert Evenich — 2009. 03. 03. [...]
Dan, you’re right on the mark! You gotta take a step back in times like this, and, somehow, take the longer view. Each one of us is so unique, so talented, and has SOOOOooo much to offer this world. Jobs are just boxes that other people can put you in, leverage some small percentage of the strengths and talents you have, and assign some dollar value to it. When you don’t have a job, you can explore the breadth of talent you have. That’s where you can find the strength to stare yourself down and determine what you’re really worth and what you really want to do.
I promise.
I’m going to do that mirror talk–I need it! And “Just hearing that someone else got a job can give you hope” is so true, and can be used for anything–for me, “Just hearing that someone else published a book.”
I’d add one more thing to your list–be sure to get vigorous exercise every day, preferably including fresh air and sunshine. For me, that fights off the depression when nothing else works.
mousewords’s last blog post..Blurbling
Hey Dan –
Appreciate this very personal post. Job search can be a troubling time for many. I’ve likened getting laid off to living through a tornado . . . a lot of time spent picking up the pieces . . .
http://tinyurl.com/lprdrl
Appreciate your sharing this . . .
[...] GTJ: Promise me something [...]
[...] 30 Dec 09 Top 10 Get That Job! posts you liked from 2009 I recently put together a composite, highly-subjective list of some of my favorite posts across all my blogs. It’s still interesting to see what you’ve enjoyed reading as well. Based on Google Analytics data, here are the top 10 Get That Job! posts from this year: 10. National Podcast Post Month series: job interview questions answered 9. How to prepare for your first job fair 8. Workshops, HARO, and Lowball Job Offers 7. Pursuing your passion 6. It’s time to move on 5. Overcoming rejection 4. Using social media for a job search | Rachel Levy – Boston marketing pro (social networking, Twitter) 3. How to find freelance and consulting jobs 2. I have a document like this and so should you 1. Promise Me Something [...]