03 Mar 09 Promise Me Something

I know you’re hurting.

When I was unemployed and underemployed in 2003-2004, those were very dark times for me.  The stress of not being able to provide for my family overwhelmed me to the point where I became seriously depressed.  Seriously depressed. The pain I felt was nearly unbearable.  I found a psychiatrist and therapist and took some medicine and talked with other people. I was involved in a church community.

Depression clouds everything

Still, there were times I thought about ending it all. Yes, there were rare times of what they call “suicidal ideation“.  I was open about those thoughts and feelings.  I made myself accountable to others who would ask me:

• “Are you taking your medicine?”
• “Are you going to your appointments?”
• “How are you really doing today?”

Depression clouds everything, especially in a job search.  When you’re depressed you don’t feel like you have anything to offer anyone.  Maybe this hits us guys more than the ladies because we get so much of our identity from what we do for a living.  When that is taken away from us, we feel like part of our soul has been ripped out.

There are days you don’t even want to wake up.  You want the pain to go away.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Stay in the battle

Promise me something.  No matter how bad it gets – don’t give up.  Stay in the battle.  Look at yourself in the mirror – no, STARE DOWN the person in the mirror – and repeat these two statements of fact:

1. You are better than you think you are.
2. You can do more than you think you can.

The biggest reason I created the How I Got My Job project is for times like this. Surround yourself with success.  Just hearing that someone else got a job can give you hope.  Listen to these stories over and over again.  Let them sink into your consciousness as you begin to believe in yourself again.

Read this excellent article from Christopher S. Penn about How Your iPod Can Protect Your Mind.

Get help

Finally, get help. No man is an island.  We were made to be social creatures, and we need to get and stay connected with others.  We live in an age now where connecting online is so easy.  Even more importantly, though, get connected to people in-person.  You need to find people to meet up and network with.  Find people who will inspire and encourage you, people who are not afraid to tell it like it is.  Heck, feel free to get in touch with me. I try to make myself as approachable as possible.  Get some therapy if needed.

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Tags: Depression, job hunt, job search